a marvelous method of reclusion
studio album
concept development
lyrics
pellek
a marvelous method of reclusion
studio album
released june 1, 2016
© 2016 pellek
music by pellek
words by george andrade
an immersive, conceptual dramatization of the manic depression cycle, the album is an emotionally authentic, fictionalized portrayal based upon our own personal experiences and told in three separate voices - our “inner narrator”, our “inner voice”, and our “dark inner voice”
the album is dedicated to those who have ever been chronically lonely or depressed
below the lyrics you’ll find scripts to the inner narrator, the inner voice (lyrics in italics), and the dark inner voice (lyrics in bold italics)
pellek band - (left to right) patrick fallang, pellek, stian warlow braathen, ingemar bru
track list
" ...explores a number of different aspects of loneliness, coming to some powerful and important revelations towards the end of the album."
lyrics
the path of reclusion
excerpt from pellek’s journal:
aloneness…
appears
time stands still
everlasting
true
consuming
you embrace the solitude…
walk the marvelous path of reclusion
mystic
consuming
gentle
safe
an insect-
a guest at an event
a small dark room-
a peaceful, tranquil planet
preparing for eternity…
jumped off the carousel
outside
pretending civilized
sad circus
aloneness…
is deep
you're still
you surrender your soul to a ghost
the shadows come to call
secret thoughts become conversation
from in the corner of a box…
I chose to think outside of
I forged four fragile bows
and made a circle
layers of dust fall
warm my weary heart
in the marvelous method of reclusion
preparing for eternity…
jumped off the carousel
outside
pretending civilized
sad circus
I've found myself
but I don't know what to make out of this situation-
am I really awake?
I wonder if time goes by too fast
for those who've loved me in the past?
hurting are my hands
and hurtful are the words that I am writing!
layers and layers of dust
coat my heart
broken is the door
and broken is the man
who screamed and tore it down!
futile…
are the attempts to change me
futile…
are my whispers in the dark
quiet…
is the man behind the window
quieter…
still the man behind the mask
black…
are these old brick walls that I’ve laid
black…
are these cold brick walls I have painted
black…
is my ambitious, tainted art
black…
is my bleeding, misplaced heart
aloneness…
takes hold
while you sleep
for everlasting
grave
stealing
succumbing to the solitude…
believe the marvelous method of reclusion
peaceful
mystical
serene
downstream time suspends-
I drift
paralysis sneaks up-
sedates me
upstream time flows-
without me
goes unmissed
I’m heading for eternity…
jumped from the carousel
outside
pretending civilized
sad
civilized
sad
circus
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lyrics
from the depths
alone
I’ve walked the night
restless
thoughts keep turning
far worse to be
unseen
(seen)
weary
my feelings burning
how must I contend with this?
a nom-de-plume?
(genesis)
I soar ever higher
from shadows
the depths
I have become
“Why can't you still see me?”
“Why can’t you see past the man I’ve become?”
alone
I’ve done what’s right
desperate
days unrewarding
far worse to be
undreamed
(dreamed)
polite
my hidden plans gnawing
how must I contend with this?
a nom-de-plume?
“Yes, yes, my behavior!”
you’ve worried
and watched me succumb
“Why can’t you still see me?!”
“Why can’t you see past the man I’ve become?!”
I know
(it’s getting late)
I know!
(time has run aground)
I’m tired
(saving face)
and I know
(once for all)
this journey’s just begun
I soar ever higher
from shadows
the depths
I have become
“Why can’t you still see me?”
“Why can’t you see past the man that’s…?”
(far away gone)
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“PelleK and Andrade have managed to create quite a piece of art. It is quite triumphant in what it tries to achieve…”
lyrics
i know you don’t know
good day
good play
“Okay, if you say so-”
good news
good weather
“So you say, okay.”
quite spectacular and strange
this world
that unfolds
in front of me
I live in the husk of this man
I know you don’t know
I’ll dream the day away
(detached)
disengaged
in a world all my own
reclusive method
refined
(hiding)
the weight
of my darkened soul
“Oh no, my morose musings!”
(not again)
oh no, please whisper reason to me
good job
good deal
“Okay, if you say so-”
good plan
good reason
“So you say, okay.”
quite spectacular and strange
this world
that unfolds
inside of me
I live in the husk of this man
I know you don’t know
I’ll dream the day away
(detached)
disengaged
in a world all my own
reclusive method
refined
(hiding)
the weight
of my darkened soul
“Oh, not again!”
(not again)
not again
(here again)
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lyrics
in windows
I should go
outside this window
(i don’t know)
these days
I don’t know
(always)
I don’t remember
(don’t seem to care)
windows
waiting for the rain
our eyes betray the pain
in windows
we wait for rain
we should go
outside our windows
(we don’t know)
most days
we don’t know
(always)
we don’t remember
windows
waiting for the rain
we cannot hide the pain
in windows
we wait for rain
windows
shadowed by the rain
we live behind the pain
in windows
we watch
and we wait
(we don’t go)
we step back
(inward)
(inward)
windows
waiting for the rain
reveal all that remains
in windows
we wait for rain
windows
shadowed by the rain
reflect our self-disdain
in windows
windows
(we hind behind)
our windows
(we wait in)
windows
(windows)
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“ …an excellent example of how to take a delicate topic and turn it into a compelling, conceptual-based album that entertains and enlightens on an equal footing.”
lyrics
the space between
i’m found here
(between the lines)
living in parenthesis
(unseen)
here i am
let me qualify
(the need to falsify)
(how you see me)
who i choose to be
here i stand
need to amplify
(the deeds that glorify)
(how you see me)
who i want to be
the space between
the space between
the space between
the space between
here i hide
let me rectify
(in ways that gentrify)
(how you see me)
who i seem to be
here i go
interrupt the flow
(to keep me in the know)
(how you see me)
who i’ll never be
(space unseen)
(space unseen)
i’m an afterthought
(my interpretive life)
the space between
the space between
the space between
the space between
(me)
(unseen)
the space between
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lyrics
whispers
i don’t know
this dark voice
between
(me)
i don’t know
this unseen voice
in
(me)
(no)
slow poison
withering me
from
(me)
(i can’t take no more)
i’m in fear of
what it
(says)
i'm in fear of
what it
(wants)
(oh, not again)
(I’m here again)
time run aground
the ghosts of lost faces
beset me
(leave her)
(leave him)
(leave them)
(take it)
(drink it)
(do it)
(cut it)
(hide it)
(do it)
(do it)
(do it)
(do it)
(DO it)
(do IT)
(DO IT)
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lyrics
all that i am
far worse to be seen
(unseen)
deep sadness permeates me
(consumes me)
oh, why
i succumbed to the ways
(the dark weather days)
that emptied me
(carried me away)
who i thought i am
the path i chose to go
is lost in this fog
closing in
(with a man i don’t know)
all that i am
all that i know
all the things
that matter most
(to me)
every little hope
every little wish
imprisoned inside
here with me
(and the man i don’t know)
far worse to be dreamed
(undreamed)
deep paralysis sedates me
(entombs me)
oh, why
i heeded the voice
(grew numb to the choice)
that deadened me
(buried me away)
who i really am
the path i need to go
is lost in this fog
closing in
(with a man i don’t know)
all that i am
all that i know
all the things
that matter most
(to me)
every little hope
every little wish
crying out from inside
here with me
(and the man i don’t know)
oh, i know
i won’t ever know
(can’t ever)
not when i’m this way
(every single day)
my heart absorbs the pain
oh, i know
i can’t live this way
(reclusive here)
surrendered
day to day
(i am all i am)
all that i know
i must go
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lyrics
the master of reclusion
sheet found tucked away in PelleK’s journal:
He creeps through the dark cells of my soul. I hear my chains keyed, collapse and clatter and I am pulled, swept up from the floor on ties that bind me – I am a puppet!
I am hoisted and hung out, dangled in a cold spotlight. No cheering, no applause. I cry out, numb, but no one can hear; I’m all alone and suspended in secret.
He shows me, in the distance, a city I know that’s all aglow yet hollow. I’m thrust out, swung, drawn through the streets - a silent, sad show performing for no one.
He is the one! He is the man who’s been pulling the strings all this time. Who can he be? I’m the puppet and he is the master of it all!
He tied them all. He strung them all. He pulled them. He pulled them tightly. He pulled them unseen. He pulled them always.
Him!
It’s him!
It’s been him!
Only him!
Emerging from reclusive corners come all the lies that have been my life, forming shadow faced people reaching for me, arms out trailing their strings – they are all puppets!
Then his face in their eyes appears in the cold spotlight, distorted and drowning. Oh no, please whisper reason to me! It’s my face there reflected and staring!
I am the one! I am the man who’s been pulling the strings all this time. How can this be? I’m the puppet and I am the master of it all!
I tied them all. I strung them all. I pulled them. I pulled them tightly. I pulled them unseen. I pulled them always.
Me.
(It’s me)
(It’s been me)
Only me.
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“Indeed, I did not expect an album with such subjects to actually give me immense pleasure and joy.”
lyrics
a reason unseen - da capo
sheet found tucked away in PelleK’s journal:
a reason unseen in a dream waiting to be dreamed
cries out from the withered husk of this man,
unremembered and buried on a shoal of memory:
a little boy lost in a distant tide of time run aground
clutches his covers and prays in the night,
sings a soft song for his mother and an imagined friend.
a self-imposed view through the space between the bars
of who we are and who we think we are
reveals all that remains to be seen in the windows to his soul;
and now separated still, incapable of fight or flight,
he chooses to detach, disengage and
disappear once again in his marvelous method of reclusion.
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addendum
the inner narrator
I've found myself but I don't know what to make out of this situation?
I wonder if time goes by too fast for those who've loved me in the past?
hurting are my hands and hurtful are the words that I am writing!
broken is the door and broken is the man who screamed and tore it down!
I soar ever higher from shadows!
the depths I have become!
yes, yes, my behavior!
you’ve worried and watched me succumb!
I know
I know!
I’m tired … and I know this journey’s just begun
I soar ever higher from shadows!
The depths I have become!
quite spectacular and strange this world that unfolds in front of me
I live in the husk of this man
I know you don’t know
I’ll dream the day away disengaged in a world all my own.
reclusive method refined the weight of my darkened soul.
oh no, my morose musings!
oh no, please whisper reason to me!
quite spectacular and strange my world that unfolds inside of me
I live in the husk of this man
I know you don’t know
I’ll dream the day away disengaged in a world all my own
reclusive method refined the weight of my darkened soul
oh, not again!
not again!
I should go outside this window these days
these days I don’t know
I don’t remember
windows waiting for the rain, our eyes betray the pain
our eyes betray the pain in windows
in windows, we wait for rain.
we should go outside our windows most days
most days we don’t know
we don’t remember
windows waiting for the rain, we cannot hide the pain.
we cannot hide the pain in windows
in windows, we wait for rain.
windows shadowed by the rain, we live behind the pain
we live behind the pain in windows
we watch and we wait
we step back
inward
windows waiting for the rain reveal all that remains
reveal all that remains in windows
in windows, we wait for rain
windows shadowed by the rain reflect our self-disdain.
reflect our self-disdain in windows
windows, our windows
windows
i’m found here living in parenthesis
here i am
let me qualify who i choose to be
here i stand
need to amplify who i want to be
the space between
here i hide
let me rectify who i seem to be
here i go
interrupt the flow who i’ll never be
my interpretive life the space between
i don’t know this dark voice between
i don’t know this unseen voice in
slow poison withering me from in
i’m in fear of what it-
i'm in fear of what it…
far worse to be seen…
deep sadness permeates me
oh why i succumbed to the ways that emptied me?
who i thought i am - the path i chose to go - is lost in this fog closing in
all that i am - all that i know - all the things that matter most to me…
every little hope - every little wish - is imprisoned inside here with me!
far worse to be dreamed…
deep paralysis sedates me
oh why i heeded the voice that deadened me?
who i really am - the path i need to go - is lost in this fog closing in
all that i am - all that i know - all the things that matter most to me… every little hope - every little wish - crying out from inside here with me!
oh i know i won’t ever know- not when i’m this way
my heart absorbs the pain…
oh i know i can’t live this way- surrendered day to day
all that i know…
i must go…
it’s been me
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addendum
the inner voice
am i really awake?
layers and layers of dust coat my heart
seen
genesis dreamed
it’s getting late
time has run aground
saving face…
detached, hiding
not again…
detached, hiding
not again
i don’t know always…
we don’t know always
we don’t go
we hide behind
we wait in
between the lines…
how you see me
how you see me…
how you see me
i’m an afterthought…
me!
no-
i can’t take no more…
oh not again!
time run aground and the ghosts of lost faces beset me
unseen
consumes me…
the dark weather days
carried me away with a man i don’t know…
to me and the man i don't know
undreamed
entombs me…
grew numb to the choice
buried me away with a man i don’t know…
to me and the man i don't know
can’t ever…
every single day reclusive here
i am all i am
it’s me
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addendum
the dark inner voice
once for all far away gone
here again-
don’t seem to care
inward windows unseen
need to
falsify deeds that glorify
ways that gentrify
keep me in the know
space unseen
unseen me…
me…
me-
says-
wants!
i’m here again!
leave her!
leave him!
leave them!
take it!
drink it!
do it!
cut it!
hide it!
do it!
do it!
do it!
do IT!
DO it!
DO IT!
it’s been me
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